Howdy Folks!  Welcome to another Community Post!

This week I want to share something with you that’s confusing to many, and more often than not, difficult for me.  You see (as usual) I have a condition that is kinda rare.  I mean, why have mainstream maladies, right?

And after reading that little admission (or just skip down if you don’t care that I can’t see you) … I have a little behind the scenes goodness for ya.  A tribute to someone who is teaching me much, and some insight into the future.

As always, thanks for supporting the channel!

– Rick

What Do You See?

Have you ever heard of Aphantasia?  And no, it’s not an old Mickey Mouse movie from the 1930s.  Here, let me describe it to you …

Close your eyes and picture something, say an apple.  Can you see it?  What color is it?  Is it shiny or dull?  What’s behind and all around that apple?  Does it look tasty?

If you’re like 99% of humans, you were able to do that.  Me?  I can’t.  And that’s what Aphantasia is.  I have no inner vision.  No inner eye.  When I close my eyes all I see is … nothing.

“But how do you remember things?”, you ask.

For me, everything is like a Wikipedia page without the photos.  I can describe in great detail exactly what that apple looks like, smells like, and everything about it.  It’s all words, though.  And this is the same for everything … people, places, memories.  It’s literally like my mind is describing a scene to a blind man.

For most of my life, I never really thought about this.  It was just my normal.  My memories are facts, never visual elements.  And then a couple of years ago I saw a video on Aphantasia and went “Oh shit!, that’s me!”.  🙂

Now I do know what it’s like (kinda).  When I dream at night, I have incredibly visual experiences.  I’m also a (semi) lucid dreamer, so I know that I’m dreaming and can sometimes control the script.  Which means that I also know that what I’m “seeing” isn’t coming from my eyes.

Now I won’t get into the scientific side, you can Google that if you care.  But I can tell you there are some upsides and downsides to this.

Have you ever heard of the phrase “Out of sight, out of mind”?  To a large degree, that describes folks with this condition.  We grieve for shorter periods of time after we lose a loved one.  Why?  We can’t see them.  Now if we look at a photo of that person, we indeed feel as normally as anyone else, but to generate a internal image of that person?  Nope, can’t do it.

This can make a lot of folks with Aphantasia think they are on the spectrum of being a psychopath.  Why do we feel so much less, we ask ourselves.  Why can’t I grieve for “fill in the blank”?  And when you talk to others with this condition, they all say the same thing.  And then they feel relief that they are normal … for someone who has aphantasia.

Creativity is also difficult.  How can an artist sculpt something that they can’t visually imagine?  We come up with workarounds, but it would sure be nice to close my eyes and “see” how a video was going to look when it was completed.  Instead, I have to resort to a lot of writing and extra time spent in edit to generate anything.

The benefits?  Well, there really aren’t many.  LOL!  Scary movies don’t affect me much because after the movie is over, I can’t visualize the bad guy.

And nope, there isn’t a “cure”.  Some folks claim they have, but no.  It’s just the way we’re wired.  It’s also a spectrum.  Some people can see, but it’s fuzzy or gray.  And on the rarest end (for folks like me) it’s absolutely black.

So … what do you see when you close your eyes?

Yes, I Am A Pirate

I am not a Parrothead.  Nor have I memorized his entire collection.  But for the past few days I’ve been actually grieving the death of Jimmy Buffet … and learning.  Jimmy’s music was wonderfully personal.  He was equal parts Hemmingway and Mark Twain.  And he captured the spirit of the Islands that I once had the pleasure of living in.

I’ve been driving around listening to him on Spotify and pondering.  It didn’t matter if he was singing a sad song or a goofy one, he always had that incredible smile on his face.  His laid back attitude always showed through.

What I’m realizing is that it’s the spirit of life that is inside each of his songs.  I once lived in Key Largo, the first island in the Florida Keys, so I understand completely the feeling of island life.  That … slowness.  Not slow to be slothy, but just because life doesn’t need to be rushed.  There is so much beauty all around us that we owe it to ourselves to just take it all in.  And that’s the lesson I’ve been pondering.  (More on that in the next chapter!).

So while Jimmy may be gone, his music will live on in us forever.  Thank you Jimmy!  

Fins up!

Thoughts … With a Caveat

As I type this, I’m sitting in New Mexico and I have come to a revelation.  I don’t really like bus life.  There, I said it!  Whew.

OK, as with all things, there is a caveat.  I don’t like my current version of bus life.  I was going to put this into a weekly rewind video, but I’m tired of being whiny on camera.  So I’ll just be whiny in words.  LOL!

I’m doing OK, I’m just not happy.  But I think I can be.  I just need to figure out what the next step/direction should be.  It seems I’ve come to the end of a path and have to choose a new direction.  I have ideas, but I’m also in no rush.  

I spent yesterday with a friend wandering around the beauty just outside of Los Alamos, and I was stunned.  As Jimmy tells us, it’s all out there, we just need to slow down and experience it.  And that’s exactly what I’m going to (re) start doing.  I’ve spent a lot of time on this channel lamenting how I need to change … well, I have.  And now it’s time to simply live.  Be the cheeseburger (and I truly hope you get that reference!  LOL!).

Anyway … all is well.  I’m heading (slowly) back east to see my family for a few weeks.  And after that … well, we’ll see.  But whatever happens, it’s gonna be wonderful!  🙂

Be safe, be happy, and we’ll see you soon.