The Perfectionist, The Dreamer, or The Defier?

I have been told that I’m the King of Procrastination. I have been called lazy. I have been described as someone who starts a thousand projects and finishes none.

I am the very definition of Procrastination Royalty … well, I would be if only I could muster the effort to attend my own coronation.

Did I just describe you as well? Are you part of the royal family? If so, welcome. We need to talk.

Here’s the thing … we aren’t lazy. Yes I understand that most folks equate those two states of being as equal (procrastinator and slacker), but lazy people lack desire. They simply don’t want to think about things (or obviously to do them).

Procrastinators are instead troubled by things, and so they find it difficult to get things done.

So knowing why we procrastinate is an obvious important first step on our road to recovery, if we can be so bold as to steal a phrase. And that starts with some hard truths … by looking objectively at our “failures”.

I’ll start.

For me every project begins with this perfect sheet of paper. Nice, blank, waiting to be filled with perfection. In my head lies the perfect result, that wonderful painting, story, or creation that will bring tears of joy to all who experience it.

For instance, tonight I’m going to make the world’s best Cajun Shrimp and Cheesy Grits! Perfectly grilled and spiced crustaceans, slathered in a wonderfully browned andouille gravy … can’t you just taste it?

Oh wait, we don’t have andouille sausage. And the only grits in the pantry are the instant variety. There is no way that I can make that dish tonig … wait, I know! … let’s just order UberEats and I’ll go shopping for everything we’re missing tomorrow.

Or perhaps the next day.

Now take that scenario and repeat it with building a new home on wheels, becoming the next YouTube star, or pretty much any other project that requires more than magic to accomplish.

Those are my “failures”.

So what are the consequences of living as Procrastination Royalty?

• Falling behind at work?

• Failing to achieve personal goals?

• The inability to cross basic errands like grocery shopping, personal hygiene, or calling your mother off the ole to-do list?

Sure, those are a good start. But there are also emotional and mental impacts. Depression, anxiety, stress, poor sleep, loneliness, and economic hardships to name just a few more.

And this is particularly true in the United States, where so much of our self-worth is tied up in how we work and what we produce. How often does the phrase “So, what do you do?” hit you when you’re meeting someone new?

We equate the projects that we finish with who we are as people.

Did you know that there is more than one type of procrastinator?

According to psychologist Linda Sapadin in her self-improvement book “How to Beat Procrastination in the Digital Age”, you could be a perfectionist, a dreamer, a worrier, or a defier.

I’ll also add that you may have low self-esteem, a fear of failure and criticism, suffer from imposter syndrome, have anxiety and a tendency towards self-defeat … you know, the list could go on, but let’s stick with Linda’s higher level categories.

The Perfectionist

A procrastinator is usually a perfectionist in some fashion. Because they (we?) need things done exactly right … because that perfect brain image of the finished product must be perfectly transcribed onto that perfect sheet of waiting paper … it takes a lot of effort which more than likely can never be summoned up and executed. And if perfection can’t happen, we’ll get lost in the process or simply quit when we realize that the goal can never be met.

The Worrier

Worriers tend to be incredibly indecisive and are extremely dependent on others for advice and reassurance. They also have a huge resistance to change, preferring the safety of the tried and true.

Worriers thus put off starting tasks because of a fear of failure or criticism in their work. Someone is going to have an opinion, so it’s best that we just never finish.

The Dreamer

A dreamer doesn’t like details. They like ideas. Living at 30,000′, they have fun in the visualization. But executing those thoughts? Boring and difficult.

Dreamers also tend to think of themselves as people for whom fate will intervene, making hard work and efficiency simply unnecessary. How often have you heard “I’m the kind of person where everything just works out in the end”.

But is it true?

The Defiers

Folks with “defiant procrastination” tend to view life in terms of what others expect them to do. What society requires of them. And working solely for someone else’s life? Why bother?

So how to we address this?

If you Google “how do I beat procrastination?”, you’re going to get a lot of basic advice that sounds really good on paper, but perhaps not so much in real life.

“The more you finish projects, the more projects you will finish in the future, it’s a self-fulfilling loop”, is one such example. “Better done than perfect”, and my personal favorite, “when you fall of the wagon, you’re only one choice away from getting back on”.

I’m not so sure any of that is really helpful.

You can also visit a professional (which I need to state here and now that I am not, I’m simply a sufferer like you). You can unpack your childhood and your desire to have sex with your mother while crying on a therapist’s couch for years, regressing your imperfect upbringing and finally coming to grips that you are simply who you are.

Or … you can take some concrete steps in the direction of non-procrastination.

One piece of advice that has worked for me is to make your goals more achievable.

Why write a good book when you can write a really bad book? Surely you can do that. Then use an action feedback loop (where you make repeated iterations of analyze/edit/tweak to write more bad words … until eventually the project turns into something good.

And yes I know, that sounds a lot like adding additional work. Something a procrastinator will surely use as a tool to put even more things off into the future.

And it also feels like anti-perfection. But it’s actually just a different mindset. You need to understand that your goal isn’t to pen Gone With The Wind. It’s to write the best damn pile of crap that anyone has ever written. To create something perfectly horrible. Then the next project is to make it a little better.

Smaller bites with better goals.

Accountability partners can also be a decent crutch on your way towards productivity, but what happens when you’re more (insert your favorite word here: smarter, dedicated, better looking) than they are? Now you’ve got their baggage to avoid as well as yours.

If you go the route of accountability partnership, you absolutely need to ensure that you’re both on the same level of the playing field.

But what if you want/need to fix this yourself?

Well … try the Two Minute Rule.

In a nutshell, if a task takes under two minutes … just do it. Answer that email. Take out the trash. If it takes less time to do something than to analyze it, just check it off and move on.

And if something takes more than two minutes, schedule it. (Or delegate it). But remember this, putting something on the calendar does not absolve you from starting it. All too often people take a stack of under-two-minute tasks, pile them together, and then say they have zero time to start the other projects.

Also stop thinking of yourself as Future Rick (obviously insert your own name here) and Present Rick. There is only one Rick. You are unique and you have your own rhythms. If you’re not a morning person, then ignore that advice that says do your hardest task before 5am.

Find your own best times and focus solely on the task at hand. Eliminate interruptions and enjoy the task you’re doing, even if it’s “that task” that you’ve been avoiding.

And here’s a thought as you ponder putting of a project until later … maybe your project is already finished and you just don’t know it yet?

And yes, we’re back to “is done really better than perfect?”.

If I just make shrimp and grits tonight using the ingredients that I do have, and if those who consume said shrimp and grits clean their plate and make “num num” sounds, isn’t the project complete?

Sure, maybe it wasn’t the perfect dish that I had in mind, but the project was to feed people with two basic ingredients.

Done!

There are so many more aspects to procrastination that we need to discuss … like the fact that if you have 54 flavors of ice cream to choose from and you can only eat one, then you lose out on 53. So perhaps it’s best not to choose.

And there are also so many more ideas that can be customized for you in reducing your tendency to put things off, but … (and you know where this old cliche is going) … those ideas are for another article that I promise to finish tomorrow.

Pinky swear … I’ll finish them this time. Really!